Giant puppets, liturgical dancers in shower curtains, and yes, even a blessing by Barny the dinosaur, all contending for the very top of the bottom rung in liturgy. Check ye it, and vote early and often for your . . . ahem, favorites.
UPDATE:And it's the Canine Communion Mass for the win! Congrats to Fr. Greg and his merry band for sweeping both the Liturgolympics and the Guibourg Award for Best Black Mass! You've earned it!
This is, of course, the Black Mass in the Extraordinary Form, The Ordinary Form being abortion.
FATHER Greg Reynolds wants his church of dissident Catholics to welcome all - ''every man and his dog'', one might say, risking the non-inclusive language he deplores - but even he was taken aback when that was put to the test during Mass yesterday. A first-time visitor arrived late at the Inclusive Catholics service in South Yarra with a large and well-trained German shepherd. When the consecrated bread and wine were passed around, the visitor took some bread and fed it to his dog. Apart from one stifled gasp, those present showed admirable presence of mind - but the dog was not offered the cup! Father Reynolds, a Melbourne priest for 32 years, launched Inclusive Catholics earlier this year. He now ministers to up to 40 people at fortnightly services alternating between two inner-suburban Protestant churches. The congregation includes gay men, former priests, abuse victims and many women who feel disenfranchised, but it is optimistic rather than bitter.
Not like us "bitter clingers," I'm sure. Everything's always happy in the Church of the Warm and Fuzzy - Extremely fuzzy, in this case.
This is soooOOOOOoo just the kind of thing I love to see. You've got a suspended priest performing illicit Masses in Protestant churches (must be that whole "enemy of my enemy" thing), albeit doing as little of it as he can and have the Mass remain valid. Both he and his congregation insist that their sins are not sins, in fact are meritorious in some cases. Odd they should need a Savior, no? In fact, I doubt they believe they do need Him. They certainly don't seem to believe that He will come to judge the living, and the dead, and the world by fire. That's just ooh, so judgmental. Hence, the Eucharist doesn't really mean all that much - not like it's the source and summit of our worship or anything - so they pass out the Eucharist to all and sundry, and they, in turn, give it to their dogs. Ironic that "dog" is "God" spelt backwards. Furthermore, just as at Mass we receive Christ twice over, in the words of Scripture and in Holy Communion, these folks have dishonored both the Liturgy of the Word and of the Eucharist. For Christ explicitly said, "Give not that which is holy to dogs" (Matt. 7:6), so it's obvious that they respect neither Christ's teaching nor His Person. Pray tell, by what stretch of the imagination does one offer worship to Christ by spitting in His face and making a mockery of Him? Congratulations, Father Reynolds! You've just won the Abbé Guibourg Award for Best Black Mass of the Year!
See, when you desecrate the Blessed Sacrament in the name of your faith and make a mockery of the Liturgy, you are de facto meeting all the elements necessary for Satanic worship. Now all those misinformed Protestants who think Catholics are really devil-worshipers can look to you, Father Reynolds, and know their fears are confirmed. I sure hope you're proud! Oh, and btw . . . your visitor, who actually gave Communion to his dog? If he ever was officially Catholic (y'know, baptized and all that), he'll be glad to know that he's probably incurred an automatic excommunication, reserved to the Holy See. That's right! If he wants to confess this sin and be absolved, the penance and absolution have to come from the Pope his own self! Of course, since you lot seem to want as little to do with the Pope as possible, I don't suppose you'll be knocking on his door any time soon. But hey, we'll leave the light on in the sanctuary for you. Meanwhile, enjoy this preview of a special liturgy coming by way of your local ordinary . . .just for you!
